Larry-

I'll try and be more detailed than I was last time...



I liked this one the least of everything I've heard from you...

It doesn't seem to have anything approaching a "hook". The melody is weak and the chorus (?) where you sing the "whoa's" IMO, doesn't work...

Find a lyric for that section might help...

The other tunes were easy to listen to, this one, I kind of had to make myself listen to the whole thing.

Another suggestion is that you seem "fill happy." (It happens to alot of us) where we trigger a fill key too often. Mostly, they should be used to link phrases or sections of a verse, for example.

There's no hard and fast rule, but I find less is more in most cases as far as fills are concerned.

Q: Are you looking for comments on your lyrics also or just the musical end of things?

Cheers-

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Bill in Dayton

[This message has been edited by Bill in Dayton (edited 01-31-2009).]