To all my Republican friends...

"What Christmas? I have no recollection of that event. If that event ever happened, I was not informed, or if I was informed, my advisers tell me I am under no obligation to disclose whether I was informed. Karl tells me the tapes of Christmas have been erased (which I have no recollection of ever existing, if indeed they ever did exist).

Pay no attention to that tree on the lawn out front...."

To all my Democrat friends....

"Let's grow a spine... Bring ALL our troops home for Christmas. Leave Iraq for Halliburton and Blackwater to police. They are the only ones getting Christmas bonuses this year, anyway..."