Craig,
first of all, congratulations for your song!

Speaking of the first guitar, I can understand what the others were trying to say. Emulating the voice of Freddie Mercury is not an easy task indeed! I think that the sound you choose is maybe too clean and lacks a bit of sustain; to compensate for this you had to play more notes, to "fill the void", so to speak. This did not happen with the second guitar, where the distortion leads (of course) to a more prolonged sustain and a more realistic effect.
Have you thought to substitute the clean guitar with a synth lead? There are plenty to choose from in the "Synth" bank; try one of the first three, for example...