Another variant...

Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Is your brassiere too tight?
Is your corset all falling apart?

Does the size of your chest
Make holes in your vest?
Is your spare tyre right up to your heart?

Are your stockings all laddered
and your shoes wearing thin?
Do you keep up your knickers
With a big safety pin?

Are your dentures all worn?
Do they rock when you yawn?
Then you know why....
You're Lonesome Tonight!