Hi Bill, finally was able to download and listen to "River Rat". As one with admittedly limited talent as a songwriter, I admire your ability to come up with some interesting song ideas. The one thing I keep listening for (and miss) though, in this song is a re-occurring 'chorus' along with a memorable hook line for the listener to grab on to', to break up the monotony of the many verses. Also, because this song is a conversational story telling sort, I feel the lyrics may be delivered in a little too strict time matching in lockstep the rhythm and cadence of the melodic line, resulting in occasionally breaking up your words mid sentence. I might suggest attempting to re-phrase the lyric so you can sing your sentences the way you would actually speak them in a more conversational fashion. One of the things I learned from my vocal stylization training is to initially memorize and delivery the lyrics (absent of the melody) as if speaking to someone, before even singing them. Play the role of a dramatic actor delivering his lines. Doing this helps to develop a more conversational approach, and helps you develop how you'll end up vocally phrasing it (making the story told more easily followed & believable to the listener) when sung. Bill. Looking forward to hearing more songs from you as I know you have a lot of interesting stories to share thru your music. Thanks.

Scott

[This message has been edited by Scottyee (edited 09-04-2006).]