Squeak,
I like it. I listen through $5 computer speakers, at work, just as the time you posted the unfinished version.
I think it needs a little more reverb, so the notes will linger a little more, can't describe it easily, like it sounds too tight, sounds like it's played in a room full of furniture and clothing that choke reflections.

Drums were a little artificial but you are a drummer if I remember well so you know better.

I feel your voice needs a little work, but I will leave comments for the singing for the guys/gals here who can actually sing.

Bass was nonexistent in my cheap speakers here, I will give it a listen in my house.

I Like this giutar better than the other strum you used in the unfinished one, but please, add a second guitar for a test, a steel string one.

So far, good.
Theodore


[This message has been edited by trident (edited 12-21-2005).]