Tgalf,
Thanx for the "insider's" viewpoint. I have several cousins that survived that awful day, and even one brand new cousin who was born the night of Sept 11th. That day will always hold a bitter-sweet taste for me.
Only you will know when you are ready to go to the site, but for those of us who were not there - I felt it was almost a duty to visit and reflect at the gravesite of so many fallen heros and innocent victims.
God Bless you, and heal your wounded memories of the wonderful, crazy city that you call "home". We all .... LOVE New York.