Wow this is a great topic.

I play in a band, but don't play solo. With so many people problems with bands, I'm contemplating going solo or duo with a female singer.

In the Band situation, you just don't want to overplay. As a solo, you are responsible for filling in the quiet with music. In the band, your job is to complement the other instruments and vocals.

Nice Chord voicings, tasty little licks, do-dabs, and tinkles will go a long way in the band situation. When it's time to solo, let it rip.