Hi Squeak,
I liked the song, though I strained to understand the lyrics (not your fault, I am always terrible in understanding English lyrics, regardless of the singer, sometimes it happens to me in Greek lyrics too).

I am throwing some suggestions based on what I would like to hear, not knowing if it is feasible or if it sound good on the real world.

I would like a more "loose" guitar playing, or alternatively, a second guitar playing the same track with minor differences, to "thicken the carpet" for your voice, which I found good, and provide something for the ear to expect.

Was it humming I heard in the harmonies? It sounded nice. I believe the mistakes you mentioned are easily correctable. I have the suspicion (can't explain why) that you strain yourself to sound like that. Is it just me?

I imagine this song more like a "lone man and his guitar" thing, rather than a band song, so I would like to hear the bass and drums track version, but I am already opposing the idea in my mind.

Last thing may sound very Jerry Springer to all of you and please don't throw up but.... in the end you repeat the same verse twice. What about adding a little boy to the mix in the last verse, singing the same words along but for himself:
"You broke my heart in two,....", but in the end the boy says "...you are not a mother at all" instead of "woman at all".

Keep up, and thanks for sharing,
Theodore

[This message has been edited by trident (edited 12-20-2005).]