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KBP:
You've got a good, distinctive hook in the little 4-5 note phrase introduced on the sax. I would like to hear it developed a bit more.
By the time the first two choruses are done, I am ready to hear a shift to the bridge section. Try moving the hook up a fourth or a fifth. Or down. Then apply the old-standby melody-writing techniques of inversion, augmentation, retrograde, etc. I would also like to hear another voice take the bridge. The piano was nice....
If you don't know what these terms mean, fool around with them in Google for a while and you can find more. These techniques are not secrets.
Douglas Wolfe
Sacramento
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