If a sub is mixed at the right level, and is crossed over at the right frequency point, it should be almost impossible to discern the location you hear the bass from. The ultra low frequencies are non-directional, and should be more "felt" than heard. It's more about fullness than "in yer face"ness.
If you don't like the mix - it's NOT mixed right! BTW Terry ..... there were some nice Rhodes patches on your latest stuff. I forget the tune, but I heard a good stereo tremelo happenin. Nice sound !