Hi Runedog,
I can play either way , but unless I memorized a song , I need the music.
However that is just me.
Here is a suggestion, forget about trying to either read music or play by ear , play what your heart wants you to play.
If you do that , it will sound perfect.
Sometimes you just have to forget all you have been told by teachers . and masters and just let your soul play the music.
My mom was almost blind before she passed , so I know all to well what you are going through , but music can take you places you have never been , and you will see far more than those without music in there heart and soul.
So , just play your heart , play your soul , play perfect !

Gary