Quit the band today

I was in a band for a loooooooooooong time, atleast for me it was a long time, roughly 4 years.
However ever since mid 2018 i was starting to feel less and less obliged to play with the band, we weren't going anywhere, yes, we had just recorded an EP but the mixes got lost in the mail and we couldn't do anything with that...

We have a saxplayer in the band (woman) who can play some great sax but she can't count to save her life so the timing is off, like on everything.. And she sang backingvocals as well but... She couldn't sing..

After i went to a jamsession last Sunday things finally clicked for me and i decided to leave the band completely.

All the people in the band were super friendly, good musicians (apart from the saxwoman) and we clicked musically, but we never went anywhere, hardly performed, rehearsed our asses off without actually sounding better..

So i sent them a WhatsApp message explaining the situation and that i wish that we'd all stay close as a group of friends but that i don't feel that we're going anywhere with the band and that that frustrates me and that i'm quitting*

They understood it and want to do a beer somtime to end it on a good note

*We had already discussed stuff like this multiple times including once where the saxplayer started shouting at me and crying..

Anyone else ever quit a band or had been fired? And how did you respond to that?

When someone quits a band, it is never unexpected.. There are hints that there will be a change..

I left our band after 12 years, but still sub once in a while..

There were no surprises that I was about to leave.. Boredom is usually the culprit..

My case traveling 200 miles to and from a gig , 3, 4, and 5 times a week..

When I joined the trio, they were use to using floppies with a Yamaha sequencer for tracks.

I improved performance immediately.. I also recorded tracks with real vocal backings.. the lead guy and gal are great singers.... The over all sound was the best.. and we were soon the most popular shore band in South Jersey..

When I left them they were in good shape... I taught them how to operate the gear.. left capable gear with them.. and made sure they had a back up plan to add someone..
I also developed the band website and maintained it..

You can quit without burning your bridges... honesty and integrity are the keys..

Just about everyone here has done it at one time another in their musical journeys - you're not alone.

Gary

Fran,
I am quite impressed. You certainly did a lot for the band during and after. It speaks well of you.

Bernie

I just went through this myself. I played with a classic rock cover band in LA County for 17 years. Had so much fun playing music from the 70s to the 90s. Played on The Strip in Las Vegas playing conventions there, playing at MGM Grand, Bally's Paris, The Bellagio and Caesars Palace. Such good times. Unfortunately the drummer developed a drinking problem ( and it was his band ). It became hard to keep a lineup together because he could get so abrasive. Eventually I told him if he cause another lineup problem I was out. Of course he did and I was gone and the rest of the band saw it the same way and left as well. But very sad after 17 years of great music together.

Here is a song that I wrote for us to play to announce Last Call at the bars we would play. A pity I made this slide show for it before I saw our drummer collapse off the drum kit during the 3rd set at a gig. A photo of him would have fitted in well.



Here is the band in happier days. I am the old white haired guy on the right playing keyboard and second guitar.

The experience of playing in a band is about as good as it gets-when it is right. However, in my experience it is seldom "right" for long due to internal politics, people leaving and so on. I know that when I was working in nursing homes, I was able to control my own destiny to a degree anyway (you still can't control ADs). So, I think the guys like Don M have the best situation as they can do what they want essentially.

Nigel

First off good band and song/video. But your story is all too common. Booze, drugs, egos, and palin stupidity sink many bands. When it right its great but its a hard mark to hit and attain.

Bridge
Never quit a band untif a few years ago. A year of rehersals to find out they never really wanted to play any gigs !!
Fired three times. First was because I refused to pull my B3/leslie multi -keyboard setup out of the restaurant we were playing 4 nights a week for a Sunday afternoon rehersal in a school gym with a Tower of Power clone band. Second becaue I didn't want to move up to playing six nights a week ( I was just starting my teaching career ) and third because I clashed with the guitar player ( supposed leader of a new band ) who refused to play anyting but 3 chord Blues.
I all worked out for the best and will for you too so just move on.

As I've posted before, I had the BEST band experience for 26 years ... Started in high school - the guitar player and I were in the same graduating class - went from RnR dances to weddings and dinner dances ... even our wives are still friends ... although the drummer - who started the group - and I booked almost all the gigs, no one claimed to be the 'leader' ... we split everything evenly and put money away to buy gear and tuxes, etc. ...
I play a few gigs with the guitar player in NJ every year, playing one with the sax player in a couple of weeks ... Unfortunately, one member has passed away and another is battling Cancer ...
Still, great, great, memories ...

Tony.... remember the good times. No Regrets!

Good luck

Just move on, .... Don't look back.....
Go solo you sing? ...or start a new band of some kind Reinvent your self...

Good luck

With the shortage of keyboardists willing to play with others..
Finding a new band can’t be that hard for a skilled keyboardist..

Just saying that even a hobby player like me gets regular invites to join bands
And thats witouth them ever hear me play a single note
Quite a lot of bands aredesperate when it comesto finding a keyboardist

I believe there is a reason for everything that happens. You think a door is closing, but it's really opening.
I "lost" three really good bands, and each time I was very sad, but finally I decided that one in my band was enough most of the time!

Only one SLIGHT regret - a company move took me away at a time when we were one of the busiest 'weekend' bands in the tri-state area ... I would have liked to enjoy that for a while longer - in fact, for the first year of my move I was driving back to NY to fill contractual obligations ... on the other hand, it was at a time when other bands started using synths and backing tracks and it seemed like you NEEDED to have a female vocalist ... nothing against female vocalists as I certainly enjoyed working with one the past couple of years, but the band had never had one in 26 years ... no doubt the dynamic of the band would have had to change for those reasons ...
We all still agree that we performed during the 'BEST OF TIMES' for small combos ...

This is a link I copied from Just in Time website. A four Seasons tune I recorded in 2002.

The backing track was recorded on the G1000 on a CTX Windows 98 laptop (pre USB), and a cheap mixer..

Stu and JoAnn recorded the backing vocals..

This was before all the DAW tricks we can use today..

http://justintimeband.homestead.com/Ragdoll.mp3