Posted by: trident
O.T. Now we know why only very few people here post demos.. - 12/15/08 03:51 AM
Now we know why only very few people here post demos..
http://www.lep.co.uk/weirdnews/First-cut-is-the-deepest.4791893.jp
and some jokes...
Q: How can you tell if the drummer's stool is level?
A: The drool comes out of BOTH sides of his mouth.
Q: What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm?
A: A Tattoo.
Q: What do you call a drummer with a steady gig?
A: A dish washer
Q: How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, he holds it in place and expects the world to revolve around him.
Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10, one to actually do it while the other 9 talk about how they could have done it better.
Q: How do you get a bass player off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What do you call a bassist in a suit?
A: The Defendant
Q: What is the difference between a viola and a coffin?
A: With a coffin, the dead man is on the inside.
Q: What is the difference between a viola and a violin?
A: Viola burns longer
Q: What's the difference between a savings bond and a bass player?
A: The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q. What's the difference between a mercedes and a soprano?
A. Not all musicians have been in a mercedes.
Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead trombone player in the road?
A. The snake was on his way to a gig. (Var. There are skid marks in front of the snake.)
Q. What happened to the drummer after he had a lobotomy?
A. They took away one of his sticks and made him a conductor.
Q. How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?
A. Put some sheet music in front of him.
Q. What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza?
A. The pizza can feed a family of four.
Q. What do you call two violin players playing in unison?
A. A minor second.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
What's the difference in an onion and a banjo?
Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo!
Q: How do you get a keyboardist to play quieter?
A: Take away his sheet music
[This message has been edited by trident (edited 12-15-2008).]
http://www.lep.co.uk/weirdnews/First-cut-is-the-deepest.4791893.jp
and some jokes...
Q: How can you tell if the drummer's stool is level?
A: The drool comes out of BOTH sides of his mouth.
Q: What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm?
A: A Tattoo.
Q: What do you call a drummer with a steady gig?
A: A dish washer
Q: How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, he holds it in place and expects the world to revolve around him.
Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10, one to actually do it while the other 9 talk about how they could have done it better.
Q: How do you get a bass player off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What do you call a bassist in a suit?
A: The Defendant
Q: What is the difference between a viola and a coffin?
A: With a coffin, the dead man is on the inside.
Q: What is the difference between a viola and a violin?
A: Viola burns longer
Q: What's the difference between a savings bond and a bass player?
A: The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q. What's the difference between a mercedes and a soprano?
A. Not all musicians have been in a mercedes.
Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead trombone player in the road?
A. The snake was on his way to a gig. (Var. There are skid marks in front of the snake.)
Q. What happened to the drummer after he had a lobotomy?
A. They took away one of his sticks and made him a conductor.
Q. How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?
A. Put some sheet music in front of him.
Q. What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza?
A. The pizza can feed a family of four.
Q. What do you call two violin players playing in unison?
A. A minor second.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
What's the difference in an onion and a banjo?
Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo!
Q: How do you get a keyboardist to play quieter?
A: Take away his sheet music
[This message has been edited by trident (edited 12-15-2008).]
), but that is a TERRIBLE story ... Is there NO respect for life ???