Playing for Non Traditional Wedding ...

Lst summer I averaged about 3 Weddings a month...every one was very traditional.

I have a non-traditional wedding coming up in April, it should be very interesting to see how it turns out...the couple are both in their early 20's...have only known each other since July.

I'll be playing various standards, love songs, etc. as the guests arrive and are seated. I'll be using my Tyros and singing...

For the Bridesmaids enterance, I'll be singing a short section of James Taylor's "Shower the People."

For the Brides enterance, she wants me to play about a minute of "This I Swear" by Nick Lachey...

For the Groom's enterance its either Billy Joel's "Just The Way You Are" or Ben E. King's "Stand By Me" as they walk up to the alter...

For the happy couple's grand exit, "This Magic Moment" by Jay and the Americans.

I've done weddings where there was maybe one contempoary song amongst traditional ones, but this is totally different from any wedding I've ever been a part of.

I'm very interested in seeing how this all goes over...

Bill in Dayton

Dear Bill;

They have only know each other since July? Do you give discounts for divorce parties? You could call it the " Bill grand slam package" Pay for the marriage entertainment & received the divorce party for 1/2 price.


Regards;
BN

When you say altar, I hope you are referring to a table in a nondenominational chapel. None of these songs belong in any kind of church, no matter how non-traditional. Does the minister know and approve? Wow!

Cassp-

I mispoke...the wedding will be held at a local cultural center here in Troy.

I'm curious...if you were hired to play for a wedding, in a church, would you refuse to try to satisfy the client the very best you could?

All the songs my client has picked out are love songs, with positive messages, etc.

I would think love songs would indeed have a place in a house of worship. Songs celebrating the love and bonding of two people on their wedding day as they exchange vows past my acid test. Surely we're not at a point where we can only sing "certain" songs of love in a church, are we? Where's the approved list?

Kind of a slippery slope, IMO.

I would agree completely that offensive songs are clearly out of place in a church. Not too many years ago however, a guitar wasn't deemed an appropriate instrument in Church...Things have changed.

Bill in Dayton

I'm with you Bill, I can't imagine why a place whose message is peace and love would be offended by love songs.

some love songs are not love songs but "take me to bed songs " you still need to be careful that you dont offend the church's principles

Genesis 35:11 says:
And God said to him, "I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body."

What I was saying reflects upon my 35 years as a church organist. Yes, back in the day I played things like "We've Only Just Begun" and the whole gambit of top 40 LOVE songs. I also know that many priests and ministers are very specific about what they will and will not permit anymore. And, I have come to have a better appreciation of a "church" wedding and appropriate music for the joining of two faithfuls souls in front of a community of God.

There are hundreds of songs composed specifically for weddings, especially church weddings. This doesn't mean that a commercial hit couldn't be appropriate, it's just that songs like "This Magic Moment, Just The Way You Are and Shower the People" don't fit the religious nature of a church wedding.

As I stated, or tried to say, songs such as these don't belong in a church - but elsewhere they might be totally acceptable.

To Bill - I do try to satisfy the bridal couple's musical needs; I just feel they don't need "When A Man Loves A Woman" in church, especially when other well-written, more appropriate music written to highlight the religious aspects of the ceremony is available.

I don't want to start a spiritual upheaval, so please be kind.

[This message has been edited by cassp (edited 03-08-2005).]

In a church, there should be a higher level of morality and seriousness. It is also up to the hierarchy of that church to set and enforce the guidelines, so it all comes down to "doing what you're allowed to do".
My upcoming wedding will be conducted outside of the church becuse Maureens first wedding ( in a Catholic Church ) was never nullified. When that is done, we will renew our vows and bless the union in our own Parish Church.

I completely respect everyone's point of view here...This is an interesting discussion.

The consensus seems to be that the Priest or Minister has the final say about what is acceptable.

Cassp-Let's say for discussion's sake that the Priest gave his blessing on using secular songs, like the ones I'll be performing, to be used during the service. What would you do? If you would tactfully step away despite the Priest's approval, why?

Part of my curiosity on this is a previous experience I had with a church and a dance series my band put on. My quartet had been hired to play for a number of dinner dances on Friday nights...all secular music...which went off very well. After the Friday nigth dances came to a stop...we explored the idea of starting our own Sunday afternoon dances from 3:00pm - 6:00pm. The Minister took it to the Trustees...who approved it. Attendance was decent but never really took off like we hoped for and ultimately, we stopped having it.

After the fact, the Minister said several people in his congregation didn't like the idea of a dance on Sundays. He explained to me in his opinion, that was an unfortunate view for his members to display. he felt strongly that God never voiced a displeasure with dancing in church. He buttrussed (sp?) his argument by the use of non traditional music in more and more services in Churches all over the world.

Certainly a very opinionated topic...

Just a reminder...the Wedding in question is in fact, NOT at a church but at a local Cultural Center in one of the oldest buildings in Troy.

Bill in Dayton

if its not in a church whats the problem ?

Bill, despite what the priest or minister approves, I would try to maintain some sense of solemnity for the music. In religious services my usual policy is that once the liturgy begins, the music reflects the theme and solemnity of the service. I have been known to play "One Hand, One Heart" and a few other 'secular' songs, but mostly I try to stay with 'religious' music. For the preludes, processional, recessional and postludes my biases are not so narrow.

ps- back in the early 70's I played the intro to 'Smoke on the Water' as a dare for my best friend's wedding; he heard it! Anyway, I just don't care for or think the chosen songs for your wedding are appropriate or good enough for any wedding service. They seem hokey or cheesy (IMO) and don't seem to do the idea of a 'wedding' justice.

Hey, I'm an old goat anyway, so who cares what I think.

[This message has been edited by cassp (edited 03-09-2005).]

To address your other question - my band has played for my parish's annual dinner dance and festival for many years. At first, people were surprised to hear me playing rock n' roll, but now they look forward to hearing the band.

Not to say that you didn't, but I played different music in church than I ever would at a dance. It sounds to me like the congregation wouldn't have supported a Sunday dance no matter who played. You just happened to be the unfortunate party.