Joke?!

Sherlock and Dr.Watson went out camping one night. So they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Sherlock wakes Watson and says " Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Sherlock the asks "And what do you deduce from that?"

Then Watson answers: "Well,...if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And, if there area few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Sherlock then said: "Watson, you IDIOT, it means that somebody stole out tent!!"


A small smile for the start of the week.......

Also,

What’s the difference between BOOM! Aaaaargh! And Aaaaaargh! BOOM!? -

The difference is whether you’re falling from the 1st or the 10th floor.

Definition of an Optimist:

A person who falls from the roof of a 60 story building an as he's passing the 30th floor says, "so far, so good".

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny!

I like this one............

What is Forrest Gump’s email password?


1forrest1

What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

“Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.”

Last one for tonight...........

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:


"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."


"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"


"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

OUCH! Oldie but goodie!

R.

An older guy in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.

Before he went, he grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up, he said... "I'm here to feed the alligator!"

A mouse goes into a music shop and says to the owner
"I`d like to buy a mouse organ",the owner replies "You`re the second mouse in here today to buy a mouse organ"yes said the mouse "That was our Monica".

Son says to his dad....
Dad, I'm thinking about a job in organised crime!

Dad replies....
Government or Private sector?!

A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, sticks up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.”

What did the drummer call his two daughters?


Anna one, Anna two...............