Subject: The European Commission

Subject: Fw: The European Commission

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze vorld.

It really looks (sounds) as you've ready to leave the bar.
Why use six years when a evening at the bar willdo?
GJ

Graham must have got into the fresh batch of Kickapoo Joy Juice I had hidden behind the bar. If he's seeing those dancing girls, I would be money he had more than one glass of this magical mix.

Bottom's up,

Gary

Graham....is this the way all Englishman slur their words after having a "Pint" in an
English Pub....BTW, is the RED LION INN still
open...Golly Good play on the words brilliant
actually....

Is that a joke?


I cannot believe it because there are 45,000,000 of people living in UK, 55,000,000 of people living in France and much more than 100,000,000 of people living in Austria, Germany and Switzerland.


At first the english government has to induct the european currency (EURO). If they haven't done yet then IMHO they're not allowed to make choices to any languages...*grrr*...


The rest of the text is really joking, isn't it?

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Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

[This message has been edited by Sheriff (edited 03-21-2005).]

i think there is 58,000,000 people in uk,mike (according to ask jeeves the latest estimate is) 60,270,708,,,also they do take the euro,they just don,t give it out(unless you are going on holiday)

[This message has been edited by nardoni2002 (edited 03-21-2005).]

[This message has been edited by nardoni2002 (edited 03-21-2005).]

Boa, ey...that explains the high unemloyment situation in UK to me...it is more than 10 percent, isn't it? It's possible that I'm wrong...


Ah, that's what I've thought first...


------------------
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

It is entirely possible that you are wrong
According to http://www.statistics.gov.uk/ the current percentage of economically active people currently unemployed stands at 4.6%



That is because we love our heritage and quite rightly the good old English Pound is part of that.

I am proud to be English and love my country. I don't want to become just another state in a United states of Europe. I am not a facist or a xenophobe. Far from it. However I see nothing wrong in having a love of ones country and wanting to remain independant, not part of a European Union.

Best wishes
Tony



[This message has been edited by Tony W (edited 03-21-2005).]

when we joined the EEC we was told (british people)that it would be great for us everything would be cheaper cause of mass purchasing,problem is the british government rip off the british public so the people don,t get the benefits,,,,remember when you could buy a BRITISH made car in belgium for a LOT less than in uk, or british goods abroad for a LOT less,heres the best one,(persuading people to instal central heating)north sea gas,its on our doorstep people will be able to centrally heat their homes for pennies,what they didn,t say was how many 1000s of pennies,i agree britain is a great country just a pity their priorities are wrong,mike

I think you all missed the JOKE (humor, sarcasm, etc.).

Anyway, I thought it was funny.

Not all missed it cassp, I'm still laughing, vcan't you hear it....?



GJ

I didn't miss it cassp. I thought it was very funny.

I got Grahams joke and thought it funny. I also got the dig about the UK not joining the Euro
Best wishes
Tony

It was only a joke, guy! It were all only jokes!
I'm a joker all the time.
I'm a jasper for a dime.
I'm laughing 'bout the tale.
And now I'll drink my ale.

Cheers to all!


------------------
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

Haha! Swet! zat maks it so much easier!

Phil

Well I don't mind the Euro myself, but the coins are absolutely awful to identify one from another.

As a frequent traveller to Spain and the Canaries from the UK I notice there seems to be (second to the Spanish marked coins) a huge amount of Irish Republic coins in circulation. Anyone know the reason? Do Germans just use plastic when in Spain?

I think all British people know when that unacceptable 'line' will be crossed in integration into mainland Europe. The lion has not lost it's teeth, we are a fiercely independant nation and one hell of a tough hombre, - just like our friends across the pond, yes?

Graham, after the 5 year plan, it ended up German anyway!!