I'm Tired....

Getting ready to pack up to go to work, and I'm tired..

I had my first paying job 49 years ago tomorrow. In that time I've had 9 weeks off from playing at least 4 nights a week.

Music has been good to me, but seems like now, it's more of an obligation than a joy.

I miss playing with other musicians. Arrangers have been an invaluable tool, but
now, the places I play are avenues for business contacts for my daytime business. The private parties I play in the winter are generally for clients.The venues that pay are high-end restaurants or corporate dinners
where the music is an "adder", not a draw.

A decision must be made to upgrade my equipment and continue or bow out as quietly as i can. My health is good and my hands are in fair shape, but that sense of pure joy isn't nearly as strong as it was.

How do you folks get over the slumps?

What is your primary source of satisfaction?

Russ

Hire a cute female singer for a change of pace....then after a while you will be glad to go solo again..

Fran has the right idea--the younger and cuter the better. However, failing that, download some new style files, mess around with them and that usually works pretty good for me under those circumstances. The next step, and Uncle Dave can verify this, is buy a new keyboard, which means you have to learn a new system, new styles and gives everything a fresh, new meaning. Finally, a tall glass of Kickapoo Joy Juice over ice, put your feet up and say the hell with it! That's usually good for a couple days, then I've got to go back to the real world, play music, take photos and write columns so I can pay the bills.

Bottom's up!

Gary

Russ...get some rest, start to take it easy..
when it's over, you can't come or go back, by then it will be to late to rest in this world.....my friend, you have paid your dues,
now enjoy the fruits of all your labor....how
is your new daytime business going???I can't wait to sell this place and relax on the beach in a hammock drinking a cool tropical drink watching the young semi-nude girls walking the beach....anyone interested in buying a bar/restaurant in Cozumel????
Russ...ENJOY your life...

I can't answer your final question but I'd say maybe you need to form a band of some sort. Even if it's twice a month gigs. I think that could keep you going.

I know where you're coming from on this one, Captain, having played my first paid gig in 1959.

I just think to myself hey, I'm still capable of giving joy and a bit of entertainment to a lot of people, and that's as worthy a goal as any in this life. We should be proud to be in such a privileged position. I find all the encouragement I need in that alone, and I hope you can as well. Also, could you truly get along without music in your life? I know I couldn't. The thought of just having my day job alone puts the bejeebers up me. It's the music that keeps me going. Good luck, Cap'n.

Russ,
Slumps are an all-too-common reality in this business. I can usually get out of my dreary moods with new gear, new rooms or new songs. Take baby steps ....... use a raggae beat on some old standard that you know inside and out. It's so easy to adapt, once you get into it and the fresh sound just might snap you out of the cellar.
Reinvent yourself.
Buy a new suit.
Paint a room in your house. (Wives love that stuff!)Better yet - paint a CEILING. You'll be king!

Burn outs don't last too long after you recognize you're IN them. Now that you know the feeling ...... FIX IT!

Take a vacation. It recharges your soul batteries.

Also - and this idea may deserve it's own thread - I wonder if it's possible for members of this forum to do a little harmless gig-swapping? That would combine vacation with work and make both more interesting. One group I belong too offers a forum for people who swap houses for a week... perhaps we could think of something similar here? Just a thought...

I work a day job but on a couple of weekends a month I play with a rock band Red Rhythm at local bars. The money isn't great split 6 ways but none of us are playing for the money but for the pleasure of playing with a live rock band with some good people. The band has been together for almost 5 years which is amazing in itself. I just really love to play live with a full lineup as it always makes me feel good and my guitars really get a nice bite when playing at band volume level. That's how I relax.

I'm lucky that my day job leaves me the weekends free to do this. It would be more difficult for a fulltime solo musician who is most probably working bread and butter jobs over the weekends. Even if it is just for an occasional jam session you should play with other players from time to time just for your own musical enjoyment. And being a guitar player yourself you know how much energy and attack there is in the sound of a band playing tightly together. Though it probably won't help your bank balance it will definately satisfy you muscially and may help to make you feel better.

And you even have all those beautiful guitars and tube amps just begging to be wound out a little with a good rhythm section pumping underneath. What are you waiting for Russ ?

In fact I am posting after arriving home from playing at a local bar. In a lot of ways it's much easier playing in a band now we are all older and don't have the same egos and expectations that we did when we were doing it in our teens and 20s. It's just about playing now which is all it ever should have been. There's no disgrace in playing in a hobby band.

[This message has been edited by Nigel (edited 01-30-2005).]

Sometimes I feel burned out also. Then I talk to my wife, who has to work at least 8 hours every day at a very stressful job. We still have a boy in college and one in high school, so we have at least a few more years of "carrying on".
From time to time over the years, I have attempted to go back to a "real" job, and that quickly makes me appreciate being a musician!
One bit of advice--if you have time and haven't done it, go play an hour at a few nursing homes. You will quickly discover how great it is to play for a really appreciative audience. Just do the songs you normally do, they will be fine, and so will you.
DonM

Hey Don...That is one great idea....play for the folks that are really appreciative of your talent and time...you have to leave felling great and renewed.....GOOD CALL

Thanks to you all...

I guess Saturday was a down day. I think I'm just tired in general. I'm a full-time caretaker for an Alzhiemer's patient (my father-in-law..over 10 years). The last vacation I had of any kind was 1982 for a week.

I'm also taking a saxophone playing friend to dr's appointments and theraphy at least 3 days a week. He has heart failure, diabetes and is extremely overweight.I'm trying to play all his jobs at an Italian restaurant so he can keep the job and money.

On my jobs Saturday, I thought how much I would miss working. I do get to play 4-5 times a week with others in addition to he singles.

I guess what really bothers me is that no one in my family helps with the healthcare for Doc and no one in my friends family cares enough to help. He as 4 children.

The dath of my friend Mike Allen also put me in a deep funk.

My communications company is having it's best year ever, but the deadlines and late night are horrendous.

Music used to be the thing that made me feel good. It still does. I just have to handle some other things better. Maby I'm not playing enough!

Good to be able to get good advice from good people.


In appreciation,


russ

Russ,
It's clear that you have alot on your plate right now. Grieve for your friend, prioritize your work schedule and do some "just for fun" playing as soon as possible! Maybe do a free show for someone ... just to separate the "Show" from the "Business"?

Lot's of people feel a drop in energy after the holidays. I think it's natural to come down hard after the high of planning, visiting, parties etc. January is a time for rebirth. Re invent yourself, or at least a part of you and you'll be back, stronger than ever, before you know it !

Russ - your superpowers are amazing but they have their price.

I too decided that I could do two jobs and so I worked as a computer network manager and still maintained a full gig schedule for many years. At the time my wife and I were caring for her invalid mother and high school daughter too. And then I discovered that I had acute high blood pressure - little wonder. Fate took hold: my mother-in-law passed away, the daughter went to college (briefly - now she's supposedly moving to California with her boyfriend !?!) and the company I did IT work for laid me off. Suddenly, I was free to be a muso again!

There was a time when my every waking moment was accounted for and I could only dream of returning to being a full-time muso, as I have been most of my life. And then it happened and today my life is much better in every way, including bringing my blood pressure under control.

Do whatever you have to so you can take a vacation. Start reducing your responsibilities wherever possible before you wind up on the receiving end of the healthcare. Picture the life you really want to lead in your mind and move towards it. Good luck...

Good advice Pro. I can identify to some extent. My mother and stepfather (84 and 91) live with us now. We don't mind at all, but it's always something--doctors, dentists, hospitals, fixing meals, etc. Fortunately I'm free most days. My wife works full time and I just don't see any way we could do it if we both worked all day. Fortunately my music is both my livelihood AND my escape.
Russ, if you make yourself sick you won't be any good to anybody. Find some way to ease up a little.
DonM

Wow, Russ, it's not music, it's no time for you.

Here's what I see that may help and it may not. Cuz maybe they're selfish jerks.

I'd go to the four kids of your friend and in no uncertain terms, I'd tell them they need to take over carting him around. I would not be mean but I would not be nicey nicey and apologetic. I'd be matter-of-fact and truthful. And I wouldn't ask, I'd tell them. I'm sure you could do it diplomatically but effectively.

Then, if that doesn't work, at least you tried. This is all assuming that they are aware of what all you do. If they don't, I'd be a bit easier. Then again, Dr. Phil might say I don't know what I'm talking about.

But my gosh, it's not like you don't have enough going on in your own family.

Whatever, that sucks. You are going to end up with a heart attack or stroke. Life is short.

Hang in there Russ! I do understand how you feel. I've been there, done that, and may still be there doing that. I have to care for my 87 year old mom, her doctors appointments, visiting her everyday, my day job, teaching two night a week at the college, directing choir at Church, and trying to spend time with my wife and my Grandson. On top of all that I'm dealing with my own prostate cancer and impending surgery. Then you hear some young kid or someone like DonM or Gary who can outplay you blindfolded and you think what's the use. I should just give up and play bingo in my spare time. I wish I had the time, drive,and energy that others seem to have to really learn my Tyros and all the midi and recording stuff.

Then, you have a job where the crowd really appreciates your music, and you see the smiles and the people having a ball dancing and it makes it all worth it. People like us NEED to perform.

Russ you must be a great person to take care of everyone on your list. You must be a great friend to play jobs and give the money to your friend. I'm sure you are a special person. My wife has a close first cousin in Lexington and someday soon hope to be there and to listen to you play and meet you.

Hang in there, and please arrange a vacation for yourself. Tell your friend's kids they need to step up to the plate. It always helps me to learn new tunes. I've been stuck in the BB/Jazz venue of music for 35 years. For me Mustang Sally is a new tune. I've had a ball learning Mercy Mercy Mercy which is not a new tune but it is new to my library. I'm learning country now, working on "Trashy Women" thanks to DonM's help. Apply some new styles to old tunes. I heard Doc Severson do "Here's That Rainy Day" last night on David Letterman. He did it as a slow ballad. I've always done it as a sort of half assesd latin. I'll have to try it as a ballad.

As we age you would think we need less stuff in our lives not more. Your feeling will pass and in time life will get more simple. I'm still waiting for life to get less complicated for me, but it will. Stick with it and the fun will return.

Tom

It's ironic that there is so much more support from folks I've never met in person(here) than family members who should really step up to the plate. In our family, there is a brother and sister who live less than an hour away. Neither has been here for any of the 4 serious hospital stays in the last 6 months,or for birthdays, holidays, fathers's day, etc. Even though they had 48 hours notice, neither made it down for the death of their mother in December 03. They both did ask when they could access the inheritance on the day of the funeral. Both are building $400,000.00 plus houses with interest only variable loans, with the intention of paying for the home with their inheritance. I'm the son-in-law, and the parents chose me to manage the trusts, because the two kids have each borrowed hundreds of thousands of dollars over their lifetime and never paid it back.

Both are now coming to me monthly with requests for money from the trust. I approved several "emergency" loans as interest only loans, and , guess what...neither has made even one interest payment.


The good news is, I've decided to keep playing until at least the 50th anniversary of my first paying job, which will be 1/30/06.

My problem last week was the realization that so many people I know are ignoring their responsibilities...Mike Allen's family, George Gentry's family and my own family. I now know that this is their problem, not mine. 10 years ago, I left a job
I loved, but could not re-locate because I knew if I didn't take care of the ones I cared about, no one would. That's the way it worked out.

I'm over the slump. I enjoy playing, teaching
and running my business.

And I appreciate you folks more than you know.

Best personal regards,


Russ

While searching the threads this one attract my attention. I'm glad to read that you've crossed the valley and you're on your way to the mountain top again. Your story has touched my soul and I believe there's something more in music then words could explain. It seems that music builds bridges, spends power, clears minds and something more like that stuff.
Capt. Russ, Sir! There's nothing left to say for me than: "Keep on rocking - never stopping!"


------------------
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

Follow-up:

Russ, how are you doing? Have things settled down for you?

Regards
Al

Thanks so much, AL.

Things haven't changed from a time/workload standpoint at all...I've just put it all in prospective and do what's right for others and what makes me feel fulfilled.

A little diversion which I am enjoying is the website pennywizz6 (Phil) is doing for me. He's a great kid, and associating with people who are learning, talented and considerate helps put up with the "users" we all encounter.


My friend George had a defibrulator installed
and is trying to get back on a therapy schedule.


Doc is stable for the last three or four weeks (no trips to the hospital).

Business (playing and daytime) is better than ever, and support from you folks is
more important than you know.

Thanks, and the best to everyone!

Russ