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#468310 - 04/07/19 05:56 AM Joke?!
tassiespirit Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 554
Loc: Devonport, Tasmania, Australia
Sherlock and Dr.Watson went out camping one night. So they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Sherlock wakes Watson and says " Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Sherlock the asks "And what do you deduce from that?"

Then Watson answers: "Well,...if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And, if there area few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Sherlock then said: "Watson, you IDIOT, it means that somebody stole out tent!!"


A small smile for the start of the week.......
_________________________
The problem is not the problem...The problem is your attitude to the problem.

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#468311 - 04/07/19 06:03 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
tassiespirit Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 554
Loc: Devonport, Tasmania, Australia
Also,

What’s the difference between BOOM! Aaaaargh! And Aaaaaargh! BOOM!? -

The difference is whether you’re falling from the 1st or the 10th floor.
_________________________
The problem is not the problem...The problem is your attitude to the problem.

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#468312 - 04/07/19 06:10 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
cgiles Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 6703
Loc: Roswell,GA/USA
Definition of an Optimist:

A person who falls from the roof of a 60 story building an as he's passing the 30th floor says, "so far, so good".
_________________________
"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzsche]

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#468985 - 04/22/19 06:58 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
tassiespirit Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 554
Loc: Devonport, Tasmania, Australia
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny!
_________________________
The problem is not the problem...The problem is your attitude to the problem.

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#468986 - 04/22/19 07:00 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
tassiespirit Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 554
Loc: Devonport, Tasmania, Australia
I like this one............

What is Forrest Gump’s email password?


1forrest1
_________________________
The problem is not the problem...The problem is your attitude to the problem.

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#468987 - 04/22/19 07:03 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
tassiespirit Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 554
Loc: Devonport, Tasmania, Australia
What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

“Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.”
_________________________
The problem is not the problem...The problem is your attitude to the problem.

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#468989 - 04/22/19 07:20 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
tassiespirit Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/08
Posts: 554
Loc: Devonport, Tasmania, Australia
Last one for tonight...........

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:


"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."


"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"


"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
_________________________
The problem is not the problem...The problem is your attitude to the problem.

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#469046 - 04/23/19 01:37 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
Nigel Offline
Admin

Registered: 06/01/98
Posts: 6482
Loc: Ventura CA USA
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

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#469053 - 04/23/19 04:38 AM Re: Joke?! [Re: tassiespirit]
cgiles Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 6703
Loc: Roswell,GA/USA
rotf2
_________________________
"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzsche]

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#469103 - 04/23/19 04:31 PM Re: Joke?! [Re: cgiles]
captain Russ Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 7285
Loc: Lexington, Ky, USA
OUCH! Oldie but goodie!

R.

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