SYNTH ZONE
Visit The Bar For Casual Discussion
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#444344 - 01/09/18 09:35 PM Can I steal your jokes?
Mark79100 Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/23/06
Posts: 1661
Loc: USA
Recently Tony posted: Mary had a little lamb, and.......boy, was the doctor surprised. I added that to my collection of jokes and humor. It also started me thinking about song lyrics and parodies.

I've been collecting things like this for years now that I file in my Book of Humor that I use in patter to spice up my performance between songs.

Examples from my notes:

They tried to sell us Egg-Foo-Yung (song: Too Young)

Some Enchanted Evening...you may eat lasagna..don't get any on'ya...or you may get a stain

Let Me Call You Sweetheart ...originally called Streetsmart, then Sweatheart, and I eventually changed the name to what you hear today: Let Me Call You Sweetheart

I'm Gonna Sit Right Down And Knit Myself A Sweater........(Write Myself A Letter)

There are a lot of you out there. What say the lot of you? Anything humorous (like Tony's Mary/lamb), that we can use in our performances. But, please....no blue jokes. Keep it clean.

Top
#444356 - 01/10/18 02:14 AM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Mark79100]
The Saint Offline
Member

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 690
Loc: Sydney Australia
Hi Mark, try "Hello Young Lovers, you're under arrest" For a starter.

Ray dance
_________________________
Ray The Saint

Top
#444359 - 01/10/18 03:30 AM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Mark79100]
organgrinder Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/16
Posts: 347
Loc: ft. lauderdale, florida
Grandma got run over by a steem roller, we slipped her under the door on christmas eve.

Mel
_________________________
KORG PA1000, KORG PA900, 2 BOSE S1 PROS, 2 BOSE L1 COMPACTS, YAMAHA STAGEPAS 500, ROLAND VP7

Top
#444364 - 01/10/18 04:52 AM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Mark79100]
cgiles Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 6703
Loc: Roswell,GA/USA
For gigs at a nude beach:

'Red tails in the sunset'

chas
_________________________
"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzsche]

Top
#444598 - 01/12/18 12:59 PM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: cgiles]
captain Russ Online   content
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 7285
Loc: Lexington, Ky, USA
Sing: "Don't look so sad....I know you're pregnant...", or
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be....there's a husband standing over me..."

I GOT A MILLION OF EM!

R.

Top
#444600 - 01/12/18 01:05 PM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Mark79100]
Jerryghr Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/14/02
Posts: 1497
Loc: Buffalo, NY
When she says, "What the hell, let's go find a motel".........That's Amore!!


Edited by Jerryghr (01/12/18 01:06 PM)

Top
#444605 - 01/12/18 01:39 PM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Mark79100]
Bill Lewis Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/12/08
Posts: 2441
Loc: Bluffton/Hilton Head SC USA
Johnny Cash "I Walk the Line"

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my pants up with a piece of twine
I know our love grows stronger all the time
So if your mine, you'll pull the twine
_________________________
Bill in SC --- Roland BK9 (2) Roland BK7M, Roland PK5 Pedals, Roland FP90, Roland CM30 (2), JBL Eon Ones (2) JBL 610 Monitor, Behringer Sub, EV mics, Apple iPad (2) Behringer DJ mixer

Top
#444627 - 01/13/18 12:23 AM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Bill Lewis]
Scott Langholff Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 06/09/02
Posts: 3163
Loc: Pensacola, Florida, USA
My next song will be, "She insulted my apartment, so I knocked her flat."

The younger ones probably won't get that one though. eek2

Top
#444639 - 01/13/18 05:18 AM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Scott Langholff]
Dnj Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43703
when your playing a nursing home which many here do these quick witted jokes go right over the head of the senior audiences,...I'd rather spend the time playing another song...when you add up the wasted time of all the so called jokes in an hour show.......

ok Rim Shot now!

Top
#444642 - 01/13/18 05:50 AM Re: Can I steal your jokes? [Re: Dnj]
tony mads usa Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/16/02
Posts: 14376
Loc: East Greenwich RI USA
Of course you have to know your audience ... but some of these might work in some of the smaller assisted/independent living places I play where it is a more casual setting which results in more conversation between me and the audience ...
_________________________
t. cool

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  Admin, Diki, Kerry 



Help keep Synth Zone Online