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#421299 - 05/14/16 05:54 PM Re: OT: Dialysis or not...? [Re: captain Russ]
bruno123 Online   content
Senior Member

Registered: 06/04/02
Posts: 4912
Loc: West Palm Beach, FL 33417
Russ stop saying "I" you are not in charge.
John C.

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#421300 - 05/14/16 06:32 PM Re: OT: Dialysis or not...? [Re: captain Russ]
Bill in Dayton Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/23/04
Posts: 2202
Loc: Dayton, OH USA
I read a book a few years ago by Dr. Atul Guwande, called "Being Mortal." A well written, brilliant book, Guwande's skill as a writer is almost unrivaled in the world of healthcare.

This book examines the life and death struggle within our current healthcare system; how programmed Doctors are to "save the patient/defeat the disease, etc..."

I thought of this passage and your situation as I drove home from work today:

"....doctors don’t listen, Gawande suggests—or, more accurately, they don’t know what to listen for. (Gawande includes examples of his own failings in this area.) Besides, they’ve been trained to want to find cures, attack problems—to win. But victory doesn’t look the same to everyone, he asserts. Yes, “death is the enemy,” he writes. “But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And in a war that you cannot win, you don’t want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don’t want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee... someone who knows how to fight for territory that can be won and how to surrender it when it can’t.” In his compassionate, learned way, Gawande shows all of us—doctors included—how mortality must be faced, with both heart and mind.

You know what to do...

You know how to do it...

Life's Rich Pageant, my friend...
_________________________
Bill in Dayton

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#421303 - 05/15/16 01:49 AM Re: OT: Dialysis or not...? [Re: captain Russ]
trident Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/22/04
Posts: 1457
Loc: Athens, Greece
Russ,
We all come in this life, live, and then pass away. Sometimes, too much time in this Earth is not good at all. She's going to be better remembered by you and whoever wants to remember her (sadly, not her children) the way she is now. Better remembered as lately sick, but not as a slowly (and surely) fading shadow of herself, while in constant pain. I watched my father fade away in this manner in the last three years, no caring person should have this memory.

I don't envy you, you face one of the most difficult decisions one has to make. But my opinion is that this decision is already made by a higher authority, and all you have to do is to act as an administrator, just make it happen. I know that the burden will be the same, though.

If the situation was different, I would probably go for dialysis. But, in these circumstances, if you need to better 'reinforce' the decision that I suspect you have already made, look up the word "enough" in the dictionary. Not 'enough' in the form of what you have done for this family over the years, but 'enough' in the form of 'what else does this poor soul have to suffer to finally have some release?'.

Thanks again, for showing us that aspect of your wonderful and caring soul. I am sure she would (and silently will) thank you too.


Edited by trident (05/15/16 01:51 AM)

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#421306 - 05/15/16 04:55 AM Re: OT: Dialysis or not...? [Re: captain Russ]
Graham UK Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/20/01
Posts: 1925
Loc: Lincolnshire UK
Russ. Difficult decision to make but it's all down to the quality of life and which would be the most comfortable for the patient, that then makes the decision a little easier.


Edited by Graham UK (05/15/16 04:55 AM)

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