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#180473 - 02/21/04 01:53 AM New song for the new cd
beachbum Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/02
Posts: 652
Loc: Austin
Hi Folks,
As always want your input...
This tune is about death... Been having to deal with it a lot latley and wrote a song about it...
Feeedback if you will... If your busy I understand..
Thanks,
DJ [url=Http://chipos.com/beachbum/onebyone.mp3][url=Http://chipos.com/beachbum/onebyne.mp3][url=Http://chipos.com/beachbum/onebyne.mp3][url=Http://chipos.com/beachbum/onebyne.mp3]Http://chipos.com/beachbum/onebyne.mp3[/url][/url][/url][/url]

[This message has been edited by beachbum (edited 02-21-2004).]
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I don't steer the ship... I bail out the water...

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#180474 - 02/21/04 03:51 AM Re: New song for the new cd
trtjazz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/01/02
Posts: 2683
DJ
This is a pretty emotional cut and expresses your feelings well. I think you might be able
to change the melody up a bit more to make the chorus more effective and give some change up to the cut. The mix is not too bad either sounds full and powerful that fits the cut.
Terry

------------------
jam on,
Terry http://imjazzed.homestead.com/Index.html
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jam on,
Terry
http://www.artisans-world.com/

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#180475 - 02/21/04 12:21 PM Re: New song for the new cd
beachbum Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/02
Posts: 652
Loc: Austin
Thanks Terry,
This is probably one of my better tunes. I think you may be right, perhaps the chorus could use some vocal harmonies to set it apart from the verse... I don't think I'll be able to top this one.... At least for me..
Thanks again,
DJ
_________________________
I don't steer the ship... I bail out the water...

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#180476 - 02/21/04 05:43 PM Re: New song for the new cd
Leon Offline
Member

Registered: 04/14/99
Posts: 585
Loc: British Columbia
Wow....DJ you've had a lot to deal with lately, that's obvious.Similar comments to Terry's and (this is my own personal view) I was anticipating some back up, maybe ahhs gradually building at 1:53 and maybe a cello at 3:57 (cellos are always haunting)
Just my thots...L
Again...powerful message here.

[This message has been edited by Leon (edited 02-21-2004).]
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...L

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#180477 - 02/21/04 10:55 PM Re: New song for the new cd
beachbum Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/02
Posts: 652
Loc: Austin
Thanks Leon,
I suppose I could work on the build.. Cello would be cool... A lot of folks seem to be shy away from this topic. It seems to hit home for some folks... Is that a complement or should I back off from such strong lyrics?
Thanks again,
DJ
_________________________
I don't steer the ship... I bail out the water...

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#180478 - 02/22/04 02:51 AM Re: New song for the new cd
trtjazz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/01/02
Posts: 2683
DJ
I think you should write what's there. For my own work vocal or instrumental, I feel I am just the messenger. People don't like to discuss their own mortality or think about it much. That's part of what artists do though is be a reflection of life and death is part of that reflection.

So write on....or was that right on.
Terry

------------------
jam on,
Terry http://imjazzed.homestead.com/Index.html
_________________________
jam on,
Terry
http://www.artisans-world.com/

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