Being a father is great.. My daughter is nearly 9 months old now..... That little girl is into everything in the house.. She started pulling herself up in a standing position (months) before she should have been. Then when she realized how easy it was to crawl..., the house got ransacked! There isn't a thing she doesn't get into. You can't leave doors slightly ajar because she knows how to push them open and get into the room.. As much of a handful as she is I love every minute of it. When I get home from work my wife is generally in class, so it's me and the baby until about 10pm... In those few hours I spoil that child (can't help it though) Even though I rarely get to play my keyboard anymore I find that most of the time when I turn it on, it's to let her bang on it.... That's enough for me though, because she's smiling away while poking at the keys and buttons... She's already saying Da Da, however she's in this growling and fake coughing phase now... It's going to be a long time before I can get a new keyboard, but everytime I look at my baby girl and she smiles at me I don't even think about it.. Just providing for my family gives me all the joy I need..... By the time I can get a PSR-1000 they should be down to the price of the PSR-550... Counting the days (or years) which ever comes first...

Squeak

having Children are indeed a Miracle of Life. Take many many pictures/videos for they will grow up very fast and its a pleasure to look at them in years to come.


enjoy

Dnj

squeak...... and the ONLY thing better is being a GRANDFATHER ..... Dnj is right ... and they do grow too quickly.... my wife and I just spent a week at Disney World Fla with our daughter, son-in-law, and 2 of our 4 grandkids ... we've been there twice before, but there is nothing like seeing Disney through the eyes of a 4 and 3 year old !!! ... the grandkids were at our house the other night and a commercial came on for Disney ..... our grandson (3 yrs) said " Poppa.. let's go" ... I asked where we were going, he said "Outside... we go see Mickey Mouse!!" ....can't wait to go back with the other 2 ... ... enjoy my friend, for children a ARE the real joy of life...
t.

[This message has been edited by tony mads usa (edited 11-07-2002).]

I don't want to rain on any parades and I will try avoid the soapbox, but I am a dedicated advocate for father's rights and it's a subject that all fathers and men considering fatherhood should be aware of. Sorry if this comes across as inappropriate and I thoroughly hope you never need this information or the changes in the laws that many non-custodial fathers across America are fighting for.

While there are strong federal and state laws and programs that enforce child support (and rightly so), there are no equivalent laws or programs to enforce child visitation in the often tragic case of divorce. More and more many non-custodial parents, both men and women and their children, are being subjected to harassment and/or denial of their legal child visitation rights. It's not a well-known problem and few politicians are willing to openly talk about it. In many states, while child visitation is a standard part of most divorce agreements where domestic abuse is not an issue, enforcement of such legal visitation is often impossible. By law, divorced non-custodial parents have no actual rights at all in most states. Visitation with a non-custodial parent is considered the right of the child - but when it is denied or interfered with the non-custodial parent's sole means of enforcement is to personally pay for contempt of court charges, which can be expensive and hard to enforce. It's often a case of how much justice you can afford. Most state's only have laws that enforce child visitation when the non-custodial father or mother is in prison. Yet sadly, there are a rising number of "vindictive mothers" (the opposite of the so-called "deadbeat dad", the name for non-custodial parent who don't pay child support) that limit or interfer with legal child visitation as a means of inflicting emotional damage to the parent who does not have custody.

Many divorced fathers and advocacy groups are fighting to make a significant change in the laws: if visitation is the right of the child and not the parent, then abuse of visitation should be considered child abuse. This change would give non-custodial parents the law enforcement resources to protect their visitation and/or change custody in cases where children are used as weapons of cruelty by their custodial parent.

Again, I hope you never have direct need of this information, but if there are father's advocacy groups such as 'Fathers Are Parents Too' in your area, consider lending them your support. Thanks.

Children are entertaining...without a Roland or Yamaha They are living miracles....

Squeak.. being a good father is a never ending quest...just when you think you have it down, everything changes...sounds like you're off to a great start...nice to see you have your priorities right...the keyboards will always be there...they don't know they are being neglected, and being a mere plastic piece of technology...they don't need nurturing...just turn them on..and they are there when you need them...But your children will need you every day...remember...they will only hear one tenth of what you tell them...but they'll remember everything you DO.....Cheers B2

B2.... also right on..... IMHO there is nothing that changes a life more, and forever, than a child ... and nothing impresses more than example ...
Pro ... my best wishes to ANY parent whose former partner uses visitation rights as a means to extract revenge....
t

Hope our kids follow in our footsteps....me I just turned 23....no kids..not married....yet

Squeek,
I added this sentence after reading this all.. enter at your own risk... I was hoping this would be easier than soloing through a II-V-I without a cliche...I must be crazy...

I am right with you, just watching and holding them transcends all other forms of Love. It took me a while to realize that everything is family, that my wife is every bit of what the kids are to me. I hear the pride and love in your message. And I agree that being a grand parent must be an enlightening experience as both our parents are just crazy for our daughters and their response to them shows.

I have 17 month old twin girls. I am Italian American and my wife is Filipina. We wondered about their features and they fooled us both, we got one that looks exactly like my niece when she 15 months and one that looks like Mom (although when the Filipina girl toots my wife swears theres some of me in there). One walked at 10 months (I should say runs) and the other didnt until 15 months. When I took her to the Doc because her left foot was crooked, afer checking the foot he bent her arm so that her open palm reached the the middle of her back. I almost lashed out but she didnt. turns out her whole body has soft ligaments... no wonder we had to hold the bottle for so long. When she finally walked I was so darned proud it made me cry and her left foot started straightening and they are now both upnatem.

They keep you worried though, and we decided to go lightly on the intensive study and heavy on the Love for their first couple of years.

Just remember, it isnt really a good idea to try to place them against standards. Its hard but I can only explain like this...

My brother started out great- Grades 1 through 6 excellent report cards and comments and never missed a single day (has a certificate)...he never made it past high school and decided to try to be a rocknroll star. It was a valient effort and he made some albums and his drumming made even the most conservative admire him and say he did not waste his time.. at least (well he is doing well now in NC) but there is no telling.

OUr good family friends some 14 years ago had 3 boys really fast. They cut milk cartons and read ABC's and story and low and behold it appeared to work- they were genius's.... 14 years later, the kids are fighting, one hit his mother with a fist, the father left and wants no part of it, Mom cry's everyday that everything is out of control....

My old friend Jimmy who was the runt to nearly 13 years old is now 6'3"" and can throw me farther than he can trust me and that happened before he made it out of high school. I am glad I was nice to him (actually he wouldnt hurt anyone- less they draw blood). All those years truly centered as the little one to hurting with a hug.

Want another??? theres more and I am sure your stories are out there. Obviously my brothers situation merely indicates too strong of bragging will get your long term friends snickering. In the other case I always believed it was that famouse New York Long Island "look at me" materialistic attitude and no internal substance (just from knowing them a long time before that) that was the eventual downfall of the family- I still blame the parents- should have looked at themselves instead of how they might look to others. Its just that biding your time and providing the right things will get you a chance to finish will a good feeling in your heart.

Point is, its family, its realizing a man can never win (boy is my relationship better with that one).. but seriously it is as a man to care for the family including the well being of the souls within the family. It is really your cool head, your outlook towards them, how they see you, how you get them to love and respect you that will hopefully prevent talk about child support, other evironmental factors like money, bad influences outside the home. Its you as the man who will allow your wife to who may spend most of the time with the kids (my case anyway) to give unconditional love and affection on a daily basis that hopefully, hopefully your kids will have that support securely in their mind, body and spirit and still not be a nerd.

I have learned a lot as you might have. I have studied hard, drawn upon the experience of my own loving family, remembered so many others as I lived in Europe, California, stays in the Philippines and reading an awful lot of the Good Book.

I just want to chip in my two cents that winning the ribbon at the field day is a good thing as long as it is not the most important thing. You can deliver a well balanced Republican (ooops) into the world but it will take consistency each and every day with the same guidance from Daddy.

I hope this was not offensive in any way, it is not meant to be, I tried to be generic, show my own pride for my kids and wisdom not only from me but collected from others (my Dad is so religious some people call him the second coming, however he prefers "Mandolin Man").

Be proud and be a good husband and father, be cool in hard times, sometimes just let it go your wifes way..no matter what you think is right, look at yourself from outside the box and see if your keeping things best for your little girl, you really need that view, leave your stress outside the house no matter what the cause. You are Daddy and even to your wife you are the biggest thing in their lives... and for your kids you are their God until they come to know another.... if you are not then get outside the box and fix it. It is only Love, simple and pure in the beginning... spank them later if you like but for now your little girl deserves only the best of you and that is what God intended for you (sorry).

Ah its good to get it out, now I just have to keep reminding myself the same for we are weak and dumb us men. I fail and learn and fail and learn but my Dad told me long ago it all really comes from inside you- no outside factors can get at your soul if you remember that its there. I guess thats the key.. awareness...boooooo

Okay I had fun and I learned a bit but its your post, so obviously prideful and thought inspriring.

Guitarman and from my Dad, from whom I learned much- Mandolin Man

Squeak,
Your daughter is very blessed to have a Dad like you. Your priorities are in order and your post was uplifting.
Zuk

Squeak et al,
You are correct at being a father is great. I have 4 wonderful sons (everyone needs a hobby). They all have followed me at one time or another on the keyboards. One of them plays extremely well now.
They are all different. I Love so much being with them that we are at home together for most of the week. I work out of the house and they homeschool (actually the world is their school). The great benefit is that I don't have to stop enjoying their "firsts." The first time they walk, talk, write their names, etc. I get to share it all (selfish me )
When my oldest was younger he would not let me put him down. I pretty much had him all the time. People used to tell me I was spoiling him. I would reply that I was spoiling myself, in a few months he would probably not let me pick him up and would be self-mobile. I got that right. You can't spoil a chlid under 2. Enjoy every chance you get with them.
When I was younger I thought I wanted to be a grandfather cuz they were such cool people. I would want to skip evreything and just go to grandfather. Now I am aware of all the things I would have missed. I still tell my kids I want to be a grandfather but I can wait till much later.
Now the are old enough to help me build my house and that is a plus! They all helped me put the roof on and help with the wood working too. It is such a joy to watch them grow up. It happens way too fast.

Thanks for sharing and bringing this thread here. We have a wonderful group here.

- Brian

squeak .... in an earlier post I said nothing impresses more than example ... but I have to caution you that the spoken word is certainly mightier than the sword ...along with all the GREAT memories I have of our kids growing up, I remember one time when our son was about 9 yrs old ... we were having one of our weekend family get togethers at our house (we had the swimming pool), and I don't even recall what my son was doing but I remember telling him to "get out of here" ... well he took it harder than I meant it, and when I realized he wasn't around for a while I asked where he was ... one of the other kids told me he was sitting in front of the garage ... I went to him and he still had tears in his eyes... I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that I didn't want him around ... after much talking we got things ok, but 25 yrs later I still can't forget how hurt he was....
t.

I hear ya on that tony mads usa.. I'm one of 8 children and I know how it can get.. I'm very cautious with what I say to my daughter (even now).... That's probably why I spoil her so much... When she's getting into things and I tell her "no" she gives me those big brown puppy dog eyes, and of course I fall for it... We're all going to make mistakes when raising our children, but the important thing is "what we learn from those mistakes..." I know my wife and I make little boo boos all the time, but it's all part of being parents.. Being a parent is like a never ending education "especially with the kids today".. Once you think you've mastered them, the whole course has changed...

Squeak

If they only came with manuals !

Squeak, your post put a big smile on my face...I could feel ur happiness. I love children and I can't wait to have one of my own.

UD as always u make me laugh out loud LOL.